And now I am confused

Okay. The last poem was inspiring. But The question is am I really ready for all this. Sometimes I feel its no big deal, but then again I feel what if it changes everything. Thats why I am writing this blog. To keep track of my feelings. I am under the greatest confusion of my life. I know its right, but will someone else ever understand?
But then again, I would never know if I never do it.  But so much is at stake. Roses and hills. All could go away in one go. I don't want this happen, but maybe I must take the risk. The sooner the better.
Lets see..

I was stupid

I try and try,
To change what is true,
And yet, it is the truth to which
I cling onto.
And now I think its time
Oh yes it is time, 
For the world to know,
What was under these eyes.
The moment has come,
To lift the veil,
And see what it hides.
The moment is here,
No more of this fear,
The truth be my power,
Even though it is no sweeter,
The moment is come,
When the real me comes forth,
I was always different,
I know why,
And now you shall know,
I do not care for the consequences,
What shall happen, must happen.
All I want is the lightness of heart,
To know that you know,
To know that I hide not what is true,
I hide not who I truly am.
The winter shall end and with the rise of spring,
The new sun shall reveal what was unseen.
Friends, trust is at test,
Hard though this be,
It is what must be.
I seek not sympathy,
Or forced understanding.
Just I want you to know.

Inscrutable

Look beyond what the eyes see,

And you may see me.

Hear what cannot be heard,

And maybe you will hear me.

Look inside you,
Deeper than you ever did;

Hopefully then you will understand me.

I am shrouded with mists unknown,

The night calls me,

Like a friend old.

You think you know me, 

And yet you don't.

You stare at me,

Ignoring the blankness of the eyes.

You talk to me,

Never taking notice,
Of the grief that the face hides.
You never knew,
When I drifted away,
Leaving behind my empty shell.
You never knew,
How your eyes deluded you.
It pains to know that,
You never knew.
But if you ever want to seek me,
Look beyond the blinding light,
And in the darkness,
You may see me.