Sunday, October 31, 2010

The World Turned Upside Down

Our school witnessed the moment of the millennium yesterday - and I was not even present :(
Well this changes things, doesn't it? Four more months to go before this term ends. Before high school ends. A lot more can happen within these months. School is a changed place now. Don't know what new dreadful surprises will come forth.. Well we got to be careful now, for resistance will not be a really good idea these day. This means sulking back to the rules :P of the school. Whatever be the case, what happened yesterday will be a memorable thing, both in a positive and negative way. No one will forget it so easily. It will be the talk for months. Open defiance. The fire of upsurge. Something never imagined. But one thing is evident. The fire is not extinguished. The sparks live on. Even though I think she took it a little too far, but yet I salute her and her guts.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Dead with guilt

I am feeling so low today. Have a maths test tomorrow but don;t even feel like touching the book. It hurts us a lot when we realize that we have hurt a friend. And that's what I did today. Ruined almost everything. Not intentionally though. But did something very stupid. Idiotic. Curse of a big fat mouth. Just talked to her now. Of course she is sad and yet she says that she doesn't blame me and I should stop worrying, but how can you stop thinking when you know, despite what others say, you are the only one to blame. It was my stupidity that is causing all these troubles. How can i stay calm after knowing all these. And the guilt increase all the more when she tells me that I am not the one to be blamed.  :(  Dunno if I can forgive myself for this. Just hope that this friend of mine gets out of all the trouble that I put her in. And I got to do something with this mouth. A bad talking habit. Useless talking. Annoying talks. No more of these. :X

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Aami na jaani kaake bhalo baashi

 The last few days have been really disturbing for me. Nothing turned out as I expected. And many things turned up that I never expected. I have realized today that few things have to change. A lot of things have to change.
Everybody is good at something. What am I good at? Sports? Performing arts? No. But I had a little hope that at least I was good in academic field. Now I have even lost that. These recent days have seen me sink so below my own expected level of excellence. Things must change for that. I must fasten my strides, for the road has gone far ahead. I must fasten my strides or else I will be left behind, helpless. This must change. After this term's result and the storm that will follow, I must start anew, with new goals and priorities. This time I cannot let myself fall so below.



Apart from the exams, lot more things are haunting me. The events of the last two years have started to interfere again.People do not forget easily, they say. Neither have I. But having to face everything all over again, to meet these people and talk of the things that happened two years ago again felt strange and scary. So I have finally decided that I will leave behind all these things and memories and move on at last. I will no longer dwell on what happened in the past. I think its time for me to take rest from it. To forget all that happened and all that could still happen. I feel that if I leave all this confusing emotion behind, then I can start everything fresh. It is finally time for me to change. To let go of what I had confined in my corners of heart. Adieu ghostly memories, Bienvenue the new Me.
                                              I am not a Robot