That day I read few articles while doing few works for my sister. They were on human trafficking. It is hard to imagine that there are few people in this world who can use such helpless poor people for their own profit. This is how the general story goes. There is some natural calamity or some factory close down and these "people" come to these poor needy people saying they can get them either out of the affected area or get them a better job. Many kids are taken away like this. Then they are sold as cheap slaves in some new cities. Its completely inhuman. Gets my blood boiling. Who are we to "sell" another individual? I feel disgusted thinking of such people.


But, come again. How are we DIFFERENT from them. Of course we never sold any human. But all of us have this idea that we are superior. Many of us have heard people say, :Look, this is my dog." I ask, who gave us that right to OWN a dog. A man catches a helpless weak puppy and separates it from its family and mother. Then he comes to the market and sells it to us. We pay the money to the man (the man, not the DOG's family) and bring the dog home. And then tie it up by a collar and make it do stupid tricks (which it has to do just for food). How is this different. People may call me crazy for going nuts over such matters. "Its just a dog, dude. Chill." But its a dog today, an innocent child tomorrow. Its not a long step. If we REFUSE to feel and understand the feelings of an simple animal, it won't take us long to oversee those of a human for our profit.

And now I am confused

Okay. The last poem was inspiring. But The question is am I really ready for all this. Sometimes I feel its no big deal, but then again I feel what if it changes everything. Thats why I am writing this blog. To keep track of my feelings. I am under the greatest confusion of my life. I know its right, but will someone else ever understand?
But then again, I would never know if I never do it.  But so much is at stake. Roses and hills. All could go away in one go. I don't want this happen, but maybe I must take the risk. The sooner the better.
Lets see..

I was stupid

I try and try,
To change what is true,
And yet, it is the truth to which
I cling onto.
And now I think its time
Oh yes it is time, 
For the world to know,
What was under these eyes.
The moment has come,
To lift the veil,
And see what it hides.
The moment is here,
No more of this fear,
The truth be my power,
Even though it is no sweeter,
The moment is come,
When the real me comes forth,
I was always different,
I know why,
And now you shall know,
I do not care for the consequences,
What shall happen, must happen.
All I want is the lightness of heart,
To know that you know,
To know that I hide not what is true,
I hide not who I truly am.
The winter shall end and with the rise of spring,
The new sun shall reveal what was unseen.
Friends, trust is at test,
Hard though this be,
It is what must be.
I seek not sympathy,
Or forced understanding.
Just I want you to know.

Inscrutable

Look beyond what the eyes see,

And you may see me.

Hear what cannot be heard,

And maybe you will hear me.

Look inside you,
Deeper than you ever did;

Hopefully then you will understand me.

I am shrouded with mists unknown,

The night calls me,

Like a friend old.

You think you know me, 

And yet you don't.

You stare at me,

Ignoring the blankness of the eyes.

You talk to me,

Never taking notice,
Of the grief that the face hides.
You never knew,
When I drifted away,
Leaving behind my empty shell.
You never knew,
How your eyes deluded you.
It pains to know that,
You never knew.
But if you ever want to seek me,
Look beyond the blinding light,
And in the darkness,
You may see me.

The World Turned Upside Down

Our school witnessed the moment of the millennium yesterday - and I was not even present :(
Well this changes things, doesn't it? Four more months to go before this term ends. Before high school ends. A lot more can happen within these months. School is a changed place now. Don't know what new dreadful surprises will come forth.. Well we got to be careful now, for resistance will not be a really good idea these day. This means sulking back to the rules :P of the school. Whatever be the case, what happened yesterday will be a memorable thing, both in a positive and negative way. No one will forget it so easily. It will be the talk for months. Open defiance. The fire of upsurge. Something never imagined. But one thing is evident. The fire is not extinguished. The sparks live on. Even though I think she took it a little too far, but yet I salute her and her guts.

Dead with guilt

I am feeling so low today. Have a maths test tomorrow but don;t even feel like touching the book. It hurts us a lot when we realize that we have hurt a friend. And that's what I did today. Ruined almost everything. Not intentionally though. But did something very stupid. Idiotic. Curse of a big fat mouth. Just talked to her now. Of course she is sad and yet she says that she doesn't blame me and I should stop worrying, but how can you stop thinking when you know, despite what others say, you are the only one to blame. It was my stupidity that is causing all these troubles. How can i stay calm after knowing all these. And the guilt increase all the more when she tells me that I am not the one to be blamed.  :(  Dunno if I can forgive myself for this. Just hope that this friend of mine gets out of all the trouble that I put her in. And I got to do something with this mouth. A bad talking habit. Useless talking. Annoying talks. No more of these. :X

Aami na jaani kaake bhalo baashi

 The last few days have been really disturbing for me. Nothing turned out as I expected. And many things turned up that I never expected. I have realized today that few things have to change. A lot of things have to change.

Everybody is good at something. What am I good at? Sports? Performing arts? No. But I had a little hope that at least I was good in academic field. Now I have even lost that. These recent days have seen me sink so below my own expected level of excellence. Things must change for that. I must fasten my strides, for the road has gone far ahead. I must fasten my strides or else I will be left behind, helpless. This must change. After this term's result and the storm that will follow, I must start anew, with new goals and priorities. This time I cannot let myself fall so below.

Apart from the exams, lot more things are haunting me. The events of the last two years have started to interfere again.People do not forget easily, they say. Neither have I. But having to face everything all over again, to meet these people and talk of the things that happened two years ago again felt strange and scary. So I have finally decided that I will leave behind all these things and memories and move on at last. I will no longer dwell on what happened in the past. I think its time for me to take rest from it. To forget all that happened and all that could still happen. I feel that if I leave all this confusing emotion behind, then I can start everything fresh. It is finally time for me to change. To let go of what I had confined in my corners of heart. Adieu ghostly memories, Bienvenue the new Me.
                                              I am not a Robot

Our War For "Peace"

Don't you think
It's time to forget,
Time to let go,
To leave behind the fights,
That started long ago.?
Why do we fight,
Like witless children
Over ruined walls.?
Why have we closed
Our hearts to the endless cry,
Of beaten humanity.?
Why do we raze the lands,
Like monsters on loose.?
Why has our brothers' blood
Not moved our heart?
Why do we burn, in the fire of revenge,
Those who never wronged us?
Why do we fight each other
When none of us have a reason?
Peace? God? Why?
Why do we act like strangers,
When someone our own,
Pass by, drenched in blood,
Shed out of the baseless fury
That we have nurtured in our hearts
Like a sapling of burning vengeance?
Why do we hold the swords,
Stained with the blood of strangers.?
Don't you feel that after all these years,
It is finally time to forget,
To forgive and  let go,
And to start anew.
Please.

I Stand Alone

I stand alone,

I wish someone would hold my hand

And guide me through this storm.

The chill sets the bones on fire,

Is there no one to cuddle me warm.

I weep in the corner, silently;

I wish someone would sit there by me.

The clouds shriek, the heavens rip apart. 

I am scared of the sudden light in the darkness.

Will no one hold me? love me?

I am vulnerable and weak,

My hope were long gone

Today, I stand alone.

A Gazillion Miles Away

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When I sat that night, alone in my room

I stared out of the window, into the dark.

My eyes beheld the stars, shining faintly,

But My mind went back to you.

I remember your laugh, your eyes and your lips,

Your soft hands and their feel on mine.

I remember the time you stood up for me,

When even I had left my side,

I remember you crying, hugging me close,

To make sure that I was with you, as you were for me.

I remember our closeness, the time and its stillness.

I remember we parting, tears everywhere.

Today I am here, You- I don't know where.

But as I sit, remembering you, I know

You must be too, thinking of me,

somewhere in this world,

A gazillion mile away.

The Beginning of A New Chapter.

There are millions of eyes looking at me, but I have got only two to stare back. There are people thinking of me-right at this moment, but my mind is far away, wandering amidst the unknown. The world is small, yet it is big enough for me. Life is short and yet a long struggle for me. You are you. Let Me be Me. I have always been Me. I can't become a "You"  just because you want Me to. The world is mine to enjoy, my life is mine to spend. This is Me and this is Mine. Welcome!